when straight guys ask how lesbian sex works i feel really bad for their girlfriends because if you dont understand how to have sex with a girl in any way other than repeatedly putting your dick in her you are having some really bad sex
I want to reblog this 100 times but I’ll just do it once
I wish you’d hold me
when I turn my back
I have to reboot this today!
Iron Man (2008): Deleted Scenes
Tony Comes Home
can you imagine though, jarvis all alone in tony’s malibu house? jarvis who of course doesn’t have any physical form at all, jarvis who at this point occupies just the house and tony’s phone—jarvis, who is dependent on tony for everything, who lives essentially in tony’s pocket, suddenly being completely alone for the first time in his silicon life.
and every ten minutes on the dot for days and days and days he accesses the latest news reports, re-calculating and re-calculating tony’s chances at survival, endlessly running the numbers. and nobody told him to do that. tony’s house was empty and dark and nobody told jarvis to keep an eye on the news but he did. jarvis could have just spun down his hard drives and gone into hibernate mode, but he didn’t.
no, he watched the news. he stood vigil. he waited and he hoped that his calculations were wrong. that one day he would be able to say welcome home, sir once more.
Emotional state: upset about robots.
Well yea, kids get upset when their parent isn’t around.
I HAVE SO MANY JARVIS FEELS RIGHT NOW
did you just get me upset over automated intelligence?
as an actor in a haunted house i can certify that the conga line is the preferred way of escape
so someone once called my old english teacher immature (because at this point he was spinning around on a wheely chair) and he said:
“Yeah, but the truth is we never really grow up. We just masquerade as adults because that’s what we’re expected to do.”
and to this day that is the single most profound thing i have ever heard uttered by someone dicking around on a swivel chair
Art dump part 4
okay story time
so my art teacher assigned us to do a chalk pastel still life of fruits n shit and I was like “no”
so I drew a banana instead.
and my teacher came by like “you need to have more than one fruit in your still life”
so I was like “k”
and so I put that cherry on top of the banana and titled it “Banana Split Without The Ice Cream Because Life Is Full Of Disappointments: By Fall Out Boy" and I turned that shit in.
My art teacher just started laughing out loud in the middle of class
It’s actually really poignant for some reason, at least until you read the caption.
THAT ONE PENCIL IS PISSOMG ME OFF
YOU KNOW WHICH ONE
someone please photoshop that pencil to fix it